Baseball. Admittedly, when the pro players went on strike back in 1994 I lost interest in the game. When I was a teenager, I use to love baseball and well, my heart went to a few high school baseball players too! Let’s just say the uniform on the right fella could turn my head quite quickly. I was clicking through the channels and landed on the movie ‘Bull Durham’, which I haven’t watched in years. It took me back to the days of loving the game and this movie always cracked me up with brilliant characters and dialogue. Baseball a religion to some, and relatable symbolism to life. Also, Kevin Costner (aka Crash) looked great in uniform!
Below are a few of my favorite quotes of the movie. Baseball, yeah it’s still great!
Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic.
Ebby Calvin LaLooshy: [to himself] What’s this guy know about pitching? If he’s so good how come he’s been in the minors for the last ten years? If he’s so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?
Crash Davis: Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don’t know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you’ll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let’s have some fun out here! This game’s fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don’t hold the ball so hard, OK? It’s an egg. Hold it like an egg.
Larry: Who’s this? Who are you?
Crash Davis: I’m the player to be named later.
Annie Savoy: Oh, where are you going?
Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don’t try out. Besides, uh, I don’t believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the p***y, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
[pauses then winks and walks away]
Crash Davis: Goodnight.
Annie Savoy: Oh my. Crash…
Annie Savoy: I think probably with my love of four-legged creatures and hooves and everything, that in another lifetime I was probably Catherine the Great, or Francis of Assisi. I’m not sure which one. What do you think?
Crash Davis: How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?
[Annie and Crash pause, then both laugh]
Crash Davis: I mean,
Crash Davis: how come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
Annie Savoy: [still laughing] Because it doesn’t work that way, you fool!
Crash Davis: You be cocky and arrogant, even when you’re getting beat. That’s the secret. You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance.
Ebby Calvin LaLooshy: Right. Fear and ignorance.
Crash Davis:[exasperated] No. You hayseed. It’s arrogance not ‘ignorance.’